Let me preface this. I won’t be discussing immunizations against flu or any other host of diseases which we inoculate against. That is not the topic. Right now, I think it’s time for a shot which dispels world beliefs.
Whatever side you are on regarding vaccinations; anti or pro, is a personal decision. And I will not be getting caught up in that debate in this post, or in the foreseeable future. I do however think it’s time to take the bull by the horns; and discuss beliefs which precipitously act upon us.
I recently found myself in a robust debate (which was not my intention) regarding loneliness. The topic was Loneliness & Social Media. And while I do feel that social media creates, perpetuates, and skews reality, so does the world with its belief systems. Let me illustrate.
The moderator was concerned (rightly so) on how loneliness affects health. It can influence anything from heart disease to dementia, according to statistics. Now, as I learned long ago statistics are relative; they can be watered down or built up–depending upon the pet or pet peeve of the researcher. However, I have no reason to doubt loneliness can cause a host of headaches to heartaches. I’ve seen it play out on many levels in both women and men.
However, my question or “inoculation” to this dilemma is “Who told you that this is or could be an outcome?” Most of us will spend a good portion of our lives alone, especially as we age. Does this mean we lose our mental agility? Or our hearts will malfunction? It could, if we let it, or let that belief seep in. Kind of like cracks in an unstable foundation–our beliefs dictate how strong or firm it is; or how weak and leaky it becomes. That foundation in order to avoid such a fate, must be built on self-efficacy.
At this time the world tells us “you should be happy and with friends and family around the holidays.” How many of us are really happy to be around certain people during this time of year? The world and statistics tell us many things. How we choose to react or believe, is up to us.
Loneliness like joy is a choice. There are those who have lived alone by choice or not, yet do not feel the least bit lonely. Likewise, there are those who feel lonely in the midst of a crowd. There are people living behind bars who are free. And those who live on the most palatial sprawling estates, who feel imprisoned. Why? One of the reasons could be is they refuse the world’s tone; they are tone deaf to what the world says they should be. Yes it’s a double edged sword cutting its path both ways. Yet why not make it work for you?
If you are alone, unfortunately, you can’t always cultivate or force people to spend time with you. Sure you can do your part and make yourself available. But putting out needy vibes often attract those you may not want in your life. The scent of “needy” to some is like blood to a shark. Not what you want. What you can do is refuse to defer to what the world says when confronted with this dilemma. You don’t have to be a statistic. You may not be able to control the action, but you can control the reaction.
Want a companion? Be a companion. Know yourself. Then you will know what you want, and equally important what you don’t, when it comes along.
Heart disease? Dementia? Loneliness related? Perhaps. Inevitable outcome, statistic or none of the above? YOU DECIDE.
All for now. Keep up and keep at it.