Win, lose or draw; that’s a matter of opinion

We all have our perceptions of what wins & losses look like. A boxer holds his arms up in triumph after being declared the victor. The defeated stands there, usually bloodied & battered, arms at his or her side.

If we were to take a wide angle lens to this story instead of the telescopic one, what would it reveal? The victor, hands high above his head, may have tasted what his opponent is experiencing now. And probably more often than we realize. In the moment, we judge by appearances who is the winner & who is the loser.

What if we could step outside the moment AND the APPEARANCE? What would we see? Perhaps the now declared winner tallying his prior losses. The loser possibly, winning championship bouts which now seem to be relegated to the past.

What else?

When we judge by appearances, we overlook the entire story, because we are caught up in a moment in time. How often has this happened to you? Let me illustrate.

Stage fright is something with which I’ve had to contend most of my life. As someone who cantored/lead hymns in church for over a decade, few realize this. They wouldn’t have guessed that in my early days as a cantor, I couldn’t sleep from Thursday till Sunday. The congregation for the most part, only saw someone who sang. This was through a pandemic, also a whacked out Vet who tried to grab me while singing, & my fair share of compliments as well as tips on how I should improve or sound more Catholic. No, few realize what I’ve endured in this role. Now that this appears to be coming to an end, I think back with amazement how I’ve withstood. On any given Sunday I can’t think of anyone who knows this history, except for one.

What in your life, do others see through the lens of a moment in time? What is unseen? Underrepresented? What pain? What have you had to endure to get to your win? Maybe even your loss? Wins & losses are simply flip sides of the same coin. They depend upon perception in a given circumstance. But circumstances change; slowly or quickly they change.

Weathering the loss or the victory with equanimity is what makes for a steady path. Criticism is day away from praise, & praise is a day away from criticism. Why should I be unearthed by either? When you can answer this question–win, lose or draw, you can never really be swelled or trampled underfoot again.

All for now. Keep up & keep at it.

Questions? Comments? Contact me at

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