In a previous post, I spoke to giving yourself a “break” from the news cycle.  Staying informed is different from donning the uniform of mental miasma resulting in fear.  Where do we go to find relief?  Regardless of where you travel, even if you left the country, it would still be there.  Trails I frequent are more crowded, where they once were sparsely populated.  Depending upon your living situation, you may not want more alone time.  However, sheltering in place with your family may mean to others TIME TO GET AWAY.  What does getting away look like?

We put a lot of emphasis on physical fitness.  What about mental fitness?

The reason for the name change for this blog, was that I wanted to be more than another fitness tip and staying well website.  You can find that anywhere & everywhere.  Now especially, many trainers have gone online or virtual.  If you are feeling not quite yourself and need someone to talk to,  you are not alone.  There are sites equipped to help with that too.

But when you finish your virtual workout, end your TALKSPACE session. and still aren’t feeling connected, where do you go?

You are still faced with yourself by yourself.  You can only feign interest in other’s lives or events for so long.  What about yours?  Would you be sacrificing connectedness if you went your own way?  Let others go theirs?  Yes you would.  But that isn’t such a bad thing.  Sometimes you have to be out on that proverbial limb by yourself for awhile.  You start discover your own niche, and that you can be your own best friend.  Few of us want to feel lonely.  But would it be so terrible to discover what it means to be alone?  With our own thoughts, understanding, as well as fears?  If this seems too much to bear, consider this:  companionship starts with being a companion.  How can you be a companion if it unnerves you to discover who you are?  Without the chatter of those around us defining our interests?

Is this subject a little deep?  I think not.  It’s one of the reasons why PERSONAL TRAINING WITH CRYSTAL is now LIFE TRAINING WITH CRYSTAL.  There’s more to this life than being defined by our mutual fears, tendencies, or capacities.  Discovering your uncommon ground I know is a little scary.  But it’s necessary if you want to come out from under the cloud cover blanketing many.

Whether air travel is frequent or infrequent for you, you are probably aware of cloud cover.  There are many passengers on a plane.  They range from very learned, to those who exercise their stupidity to the fullest.  If you haven’t had that experience in the air, count yourself lucky.  In any case, unless another pilot is traveling other than the ones flying the plane, no matter how learned or simple the passengers may be, no one else has the skill to elevate that plane.  No one else knows how to lift off, elevate the nose, ascend, and eventually transcend that cloud cover.   Few possess this skillset; it has to be developed.  Those that do have a great responsibility on their shoulders.  But for them it may appear as if effortless.

What skills could you hone to elevate?  Lift your nose, ascend and eventually transcend the cloud cover hovering in your life?  For each of us the answer is different.  And it may be a different answer than the year, month, or week before.

In my experience asking questions are just as, if not more important that immediate answers.

They help lift me above the prevailing appearance of darkness.  They raise my awareness and eventually elevate me from the ground.  Yes there are clouds.  And just above them is the sun.

 

All for now.  Keep up and keep at it.

Questions? Contact me at serrenity.c@gmail.com

 

Let me preface this.  I won’t be discussing immunizations against flu or any other host of diseases which we inoculate against.  That is not the topic.  Right now, I think it’s time for a shot which dispels world beliefs.

Whatever side you are on regarding vaccinations; anti or pro, is a personal decision.  And I will not be getting caught up in that debate in this post, or in the foreseeable future.   I do however think it’s time to take the bull by the horns; and discuss beliefs which precipitously act upon us.

I recently found myself in a robust debate (which was not my intention) regarding loneliness.  The topic was Loneliness & Social Media.  And while I do feel that social media creates, perpetuates, and skews reality, so does the world with its belief systems.  Let me illustrate.

The moderator was concerned (rightly so) on how loneliness affects health.  It can influence anything from heart disease to dementia, according to statistics.  Now, as I learned long ago statistics are relative; they can be watered down or built up–depending upon the pet or pet peeve of the researcher.  However, I have no reason to doubt loneliness can cause a host of headaches to heartaches.  I’ve seen it play out on many levels in both women and men.

However, my question or “inoculation” to this dilemma is “Who told you that this is or could be an outcome?”  Most of us will spend a good portion of our lives alone, especially as we age.  Does this mean we lose our mental agility?  Or our hearts will malfunction?  It could, if we let it, or let that belief seep in.  Kind of like cracks in an unstable foundation–our beliefs dictate how strong or firm it is; or how weak and leaky it becomes.  That foundation in order to avoid such a fate, must be built on self-efficacy.

At this time the world tells us “you should be happy and with friends and family around the holidays.”  How many of us are really happy to be around certain people during this time of year?  The world and statistics tell us many things. How we choose to react or believe, is up to us.

Loneliness like joy is a choice.  There are those who have lived alone by choice or not, yet do not feel the least bit lonely.  Likewise, there are those who feel lonely in the midst of a crowd.  There are people living behind bars who are free.  And those who live on the most palatial sprawling estates, who feel imprisoned.  Why?  One of the reasons could be is they refuse the world’s tone; they are tone deaf to what the world says they should be.  Yes it’s a double edged sword cutting its path both ways.  Yet why not make it work for you?

If you are alone, unfortunately, you can’t always cultivate or force people to spend time with you.  Sure you can do your part and make yourself available.  But putting out needy vibes often attract those you may not want in your life. The scent of “needy” to some is like blood to a shark.  Not what you want.  What you can do is refuse to defer to what the world says when confronted with this dilemma.  You don’t have to be a statistic.  You may not be able to control the action, but you can control the reaction.

Want a companion?  Be a companion.  Know yourself.  Then you will know what you want, and equally important what you don’t, when it comes along.

Heart disease? Dementia?  Loneliness related?  Perhaps. Inevitable outcome, statistic or none of the above?  YOU DECIDE.

All for now.  Keep up and keep at it.